As it comes

Sarah tells me that I make the best cup of tea that she has ever tasted. She can’t even make it right herself. “I need a Markie Tea,” she’ll tell me. I’ve gone out of my way to experiment to see what she likes and what she doesn’t like, and I’ve come up with the correct formula. I suppose it helps that she has her tea very much like mine too. But even if she didn’t, I’m sure that it wouldn’t have been hard for me to learn to make it the right way.

If I ever make you a cup of tea or coffee, I will always ask, “How do you like it?” I’m a very tolerant person - more tolerant than most - but woe betide any guest of mine who replies with, “Oh, as it comes.”

“No, no, no!” I reply. “I don’t do ‘as it comes’, how do you actually like it?” Tea and coffee are like people’s names - you should show people enough respect to make an effort to get them right.

“Do you like it strong? Weak? Milky?” Maybe it stems from my abhorrence of weak milky tea, and my insistence upon - “Just a tiny drop of milk please,” if I’m ever asked the same question. It’s not a big ask for the tea maker to make an effort to tailor a drink exclusively for the individual. Sometimes people say, “Look, if someone is kind enough to make me a cup of tea, I’m happy to accept however it’s made.” Well, if someone is kind enough to offer you a lift to Cardiff you wouldn't be happy if they dropped you off at Aberdare.

Now here’s one that is even worse. “Would you prefer a tea or a coffee?”

“Oh, I’ll have whatever you’re making.”

“No, no, no! You’re missing the point! I’m making it for you.” It’s quite possible that I’m only boiling the kettle because I have a guest, and it really makes no difference to me whether I have tea, coffee or even nothing at all. My tea bag jar stands immediately next to my coffee jar, and the time difference between making two drinks the same and making two separate drinks is mere seconds – possibly quicker than the amount of time that I may spend trying to second guess my guest’s real choice of drink.

Let’s look at it another way - if someone asks if you take sugar, you don’t respond with, “Oh, however much you take please.”

“Would you like it in a cup, beer glass or fruit bowl?”

“Oh, whatever you’re having yours in will do fine.”

They could end up having a weak coffee with three sugars in a fruit bowl when all that they really wanted was a nice strong cup of tea without sugar.

A good host will find pleasure in serving his guests the perfect drink, so make your preference known - especially if I’m making it.